What is my Spirit Animal

1. What is your preferred method of communicating with squirrels?

Interpretive dance.
Sending them strongly worded letters.
Telepathy (mostly unsuccessful).
Ignoring them and hoping they go away.

2. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge.
Communicating with houseplants.
Predicting the flavor of toast before it's toasted.
Having an infinite supply of mismatched socks.

3. What do you do when you encounter a rogue shopping cart in a parking lot?

Engage in a dramatic sword fight.
Attempt to negotiate a peace treaty.
Ignore it and hope someone else deals with it.
Ride it into the sunset, screaming.

4. What is your favorite type of cloud?

The ones that look like a half eaten sandwich.
The ones that look like a misplaced sock.
The ones that are shaped like a very confused animal.
Any cloud, as long as it leaves me alone.

5. How do you feel about the concept of Tuesdays?

They are a personal affront.
I am convinced they are a government conspiracy.
They are a necessary evil.
I don't think about them much.

6. What is the ideal texture of your breakfast?

Slightly crunchy and vaguely sentient.
The texture of a forgotten dream.
A perfect geometric shape.
I don't eat breakfast.

7. What is your preferred method of travel?

Teleportation via interpretive dance.
Riding a sentient shopping cart.
Following a flock of confused pigeons.
Staying at home.

8. What is your favorite sound?

The gentle hum of a slightly used toaster.
The whispering of houseplants.
The existential sighs of a goldfish.
Silence.